Once upon a time, there was a man who had come into a bit of money. Not a life-changing amount, but enough to pay off the mortgage and do some nice things.

Now, this chap’s wife wouldn’t discuss the money. She said that she wasn’t interested. In fact, she said that she wanted “nothing to do with it”.

The lack of interest was not due to the source of the money. It was just that she felt uncomfortable talking about money. She was happy to join him on a cruise around the Norwegian Fjords. She just didn’t want to think about the money.

As a consequence, she didn’t attend the meetings with their financial planner. She didn’t understand how pensions or investments worked. She just wasn’t interested.

This began to cause a bit of a problem. The man wanted to discuss it with her. He wanted to consider some life changes, such as her retiring earlier than planned. He nagged her about it. Eventually, she agreed to meet their financial planner.

This is how the conversation went.

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The folded arms

Initially, the lady sat with her arms folded, waiting for the financial planner to start telling her all about investment markets and economic predictions.

Instead, the planner asked her about her work. She assumed that this was just small talk. A little impatient to get the meeting over with, she curtly answered the questions. When the planner asked what it was that she enjoyed about her work, and whether this might change in the future, she began to relax and to open up a little.

They discussed the nature of her work, how she didn’t like her boss, and how she had done the job for fifteen years now. How much she enjoyed volunteering at a local community farm on her day off on Fridays. How she and her husband liked to travel.

Half an hour later, she began to wonder if this was in fact small talk at all. They were now covering whether their children were happy, her love of singing and listening to choral concerts, and his hobby of making stained glass windows.

After an hour, she found herself feeling a little impatient. She finally asked a direct question. When are we going to talk about the investments?

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The explanation

The financial planner thanked her for the question. They then explained that the human brain is not wired to make good financial decisions. Research (Caltech, 8 February 2010) has shown that when we think about money, we use the part of our brain that we use when frightened.

We are also not very good at thinking about our future self (Financial Wellbeing Podcast, 31 May 2023). The part of our brain we use when trying to think of ourselves in, say, 10 years is the same part that we use when we think about strangers.

“Financial planning isn’t really about money. It is about joy. It’s about wellbeing. It’s about planning for a happy future.”

Sure, it is also about a reasonable mitigation of tax, management of investments, and some financial calculations. However, the planner explained, that’s my job, not yours. All you need to do is tell me what your happy future looks like. Which you’ve now done, so thank you.

Now, continued the planner, I did actually run some numbers before this meeting. And I can tell you that all the things that you would like to do in your life are possible. In fact, you only really need to work if you want to, not because you have to.

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Engagement

The planner stopped talking. She waited for him to resume, but he didn’t. Eventually, she spoke.

She expressed polite disbelief. How was all this possible? Surely, they couldn’t afford what he described.

The planner explained that it was all contained in the financial plan. He would be very happy to talk through it if she were interested.

She said that she was. She most definitely was interested.